If you come back to me, I swear, I’ll never take you for granted again.
I miss you so much.
I’d do anything to get you back. If I could wipe the slate clean and turn back time, I would.
What happened? Last summer we had such passion. We’d wake up early in the morning eager to run. You looked so pretty in the light of the dawn. I’d get butterflies in my stomach while thinking about my evening workout, giddy to be reunited with you again after a long day at work. I’d stay up late at night, giggling as I read through running websites for the latest tips on to how to best make you happy.
I loved you, Motivation. But somewhere along the way, the flame started to burn out.
It wasn’t for lack of trying. Autumn came, and those early-morning runs were so dark and cold. We tried to keep the passion alive by being more spontaneous. I took you to new places, tried new experiences and we even had whirlwind afternoon track sessions that left me breathless—but even then, we were just going through the motions. You and I both knew it, but didn’t want to say it.
Winter hasn’t been very kind to us. I tried to spice up our relationship with sexy new gear and bright headlamps. I sensed a spark when I first walked out in that new attire, but the buckles and zippers proved to be cumbersome and awkward. The sexy gear now sits in a heap in the corner, dejected.
We’re fighting more than usual now. When the alarm clock goes off, we go back and forth about getting out of bed to run. We get defensive and call each other names, and then we just give up and stop talking to each other, sometimes for weeks.
But I still I think of you every day, Motivation. I can’t listen to the radio anymore—every song reminds me of you and the amazing tempo runs we used to have. Sometimes I put on my running shoes, just to see if you’ll respond. But I always chicken out and take them off before you answer. I’ve started an affair with chocolate and my couch, but it just doesn’t fulfill me like you used to.
I understand you need some time to yourself to think. I got complacent in our relationship and didn’t treat you as well as I should have. If you come back to me, I swear, I’ll never take you for granted again. I promise I can change. Just give me a chance. The spring marathon season is coming soon and I’ve got a few races that I think you’ll really like. What do you say?
Let’s recapture the magic. Meet me in the park at dawn tomorrow. I promise you won’t regret it.
This piece first appeared in the February 2012 issue of Competitor magazine.
About The Author:
Susan Lacke does 5Ks, Ironman Triathlons, and everything in between to justify her love for cupcakes (yes, she eats that many). In addition to writing for Competitor, she serves as Resident Triathlete for No Meat Athlete, a website dedicated to vegetarian endurance athletes. Susan lives and trains in Phoenix, Arizona with three animals: A labrador, a cattle dog, and a freakishly tall triathlete boyfriend. She claims to be of sound mind, though this has yet to be substantiated by a medical expert. Follow her on Twitter: @SusanLacke